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Looking to the future: South African men and women negotiating HIV risk and relationship intimacy

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This paper examines the approaches heterosexual men and women in South Africa use to engage their partners in discussions of HIV and risk factors in their relationships. These strategies entail balancing the risks of infection while managing the challenges of maintaining a relationship. In a context in which there is a great deal of insecurity in relationships it is especially challenging to discuss HIV risks with partners. Our findings reveal that concerns about children or the desire to have children provided a legitimate basis for discussing HIV risk with partners.

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Mabeo is a member of Positive Connection, the only Internet dating forum geared to people with HIV in South Africa, the country with more infections – over 5 million and counting – than any other. I still haven’t found anyone I’ve gotten romantically involved with, but I’m carefully going through the list. AIDS is no longer an automatic killer here. As in the United States, it has become a chronic illness for those with access to antiretroviral drugs.

Up to , South Africans are on treatment, well below the half-million deemed in urgent need of care but far more than a few years ago. Life insurance is an option for some with HIV, and medical advances make it easier to bear healthy children. Yet romance remains a fraught pursuit. Despite an adult HIV prevalence rate of about 20 percent, the stigma attached to the disease remains harsh. HIV-negative people, not surprisingly, want to stay virus-free, site members say, and are likely to bolt if a partner discloses positive status.

Members are gay and straight, white and black, secretaries and bankers, with one other tie: access to the Internet. But some AIDS experts say that while they understand the appeal, they worry it could hinder efforts to bring carriers of the virus further into mainstream society.

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