I hoped his next words would describe some persistent attraction to short, loud girls who always had to be right. I wanted his type to be one of the many elements of my personality. Even the obnoxiousness. Anything to avoid the answer that was almost certainly coming. Being ghosted. Not splitting a bill. To the point where we can even find ourselves glossing over or excusing racial prejudice that would be balked at anywhere else. I’ve even written about it before in my day job for Stylist magazine. But perhaps we have the rise of online dating to blame — or thank — for thrusting the problem uncomfortably into the spotlight. The act of finding a mate — or just someone to warm your bed — has been revolutionised by tech which allows people to select someone as easily as making a food delivery order.
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Following a romance in my early twenties with an older man who, I eventually accepted, was simply at a different stage of life, I went through a series of short relationships of varying significance. I was searching for a committed relationship with a supportive partner, someone I could love deeply and who shared my values and goals. Like many singles, I had created an online dating profile. But I rarely logged in.
Now I decided to take it more seriously—these days, I seem to hear fewer and fewer stories of real life meet-cutes. Meanwhile, online, I could decide between sites with free memberships, such as Plenty of Fish; paid sites with an older, more earnest clientele, such as eHarmony; niche sites such as JDATE and Gluten-Free Singles; and many others, all slightly differentiated by price, demographics, and objectives.
I signed up for Tinder and Bumble—two apps with simple interfaces that invite users to swipe on pictures of people they find attractive—as well as OkCupid. The last includes more substantial personal profiles.
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